


Trespass

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-24
Updated: 2006-03-24
Packaged: 2019-02-02 04:32:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12719736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: What happened after "Menace"?





	Trespass

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

**Trespass** \- to overstep; to pass beyond; of limits or boundaries. 

**Part One**

"Hey, Daniel," Sam said, greeting him as she knocked on his office door. He was staring down at a photo copy he'd just printed off from a recent video taken by SG-11. He looked up at Sam as he sat at his lab table, then back to the photo he held. His left wrist was still taped up after being broken by the android, Reese, and Sam was thankful that he hadn't had his dominant wrist broken. That would have slowed him down and Daniel hated feeling useless. 

"Hey, Sam," he said absently. He didn't ask her in so she hesitated in the doorway, a little leery of him after this last mission. Things had been strange since they'd returned in the Teltac. Colonel O'Neill had been rude to Daniel, hardly speaking to him. Then these last two weeks, he'd been mean. Really mean. There were those extremely antagonistic remarks he'd made to Daniel. She could understand the Colonel getting impatient, even angry, with Daniel, but nothing excused his behaviour this last time. Nothing. She was also surprised that Daniel hadn't responded later. She'd heard him say a few words to the Colonel, but he didn't say **anything**. He didn't defend himself. It wasn't like him. 

"Daniel? May I come in? I need to talk to you." 

Daniel sighed and walked over to the door. "Sure, come on in." She went over to the empty stool by his lab table and sat down while he shut the door. 

"What'cha lookin' at?" she asked. He sat back down and handed her the photo. 

"It's, uh, a picture I printed from the latest video made by SG-11. It's fascinating." He usually elaborated, but not this time and that confirmed for her that he wasn't okay. She tried prompting him. 

"It looks kind of like that Ancients' Latin. Is that what it is?" 

"Umm, sort of. It's kind of related." 

"That's all?" 

He frowned at her. "Is there something specific you wanted to know?" 

She frowned back. "No, it's just that you usually go on about stuff like this." 

"Well, I'm sure you're relieved then." 

His voice was dull, tired, sad. "Daniel, what's wrong?" 

"Besides the usual, Sam?" 

"Will you talk to me?" 

Daniel's emotions warred within him. He wanted to talk to her, wanted to tell her everything, but he didn't think she'd understand, and he also didn't want to burden her. He felt the tears of frustration fighting to get out and he held them back firmly. Despite his resolve, she did know him and she noticed. 

"Daniel, you're really upset. I can see it. Is it because of Colonel O'Neill?" 

Daniel sighed, though he made no sound. He shook his head, though not in response to her question about Jack. "I've had enough, Sam." He got up and grabbed an envelope. He looked up at the clock and saw it was almost 5:30pm. "Is General Hammond still here?" 

"I think so." 

He walked out of his office with the envelope and Sam followed, quickly stepping along side. 

"What is it?" 

He couldn't bring himself to tell her and he felt like such a coward. A coward for not trusting her to talk to her; a coward for not standing up to Jack; a coward for not being more firm with Reese. 

She grabbed him by the arm just as they rounded the corner for Hammond's office. She looked into his eyes and he avoided hers. She now knew something was horribly wrong. 

"What is that, Daniel?" 

"I can't..." and he shook his head. "It's something I have to do, Sam. I can't take this anymore." 

She got that scared look on her face. "You're leaving us, aren't you?" 

He dropped his head and looked at his boots, then looked up at her. They stopped in front of Hammond's door. 

"Not the SGC. I just can't....take his shit anymore. I don't know what I did to deserve all this shit, but I'm not putting up with it anymore." 

He knocked on the door. 

"Daniel, don't do this..." 

"Come," Hammond said within his office. 

Daniel opened the door and saw Jack sitting in one of the two chairs in front of Hammond's desk. 

"I'm sorry, Sir. I'll come back later." 

"It's okay, Dr. Jackson. Colonel O'Neill and I are done. Come in and have a seat." 

Sam followed Daniel, not willing to let him do this by himself, and more determined to join Hammond in talking him out of this, because she knew the General would try. 

Jack stood up, looking hard at Daniel. Daniel looked over at him, glaring back, then looked over at Sam. 

"Sam, I need you to go." She shook her head, resolute. He sighed. "Sam..." 

"No." 

"What's going on?" both Jack and Hammond asked. 

Daniel held up a hand at Sam to silence her, his expression deadly serious. "I need to speak to you, Sir. **Alone**." He looked at Sam, then at Jack. Reluctantly, she left Hammond's office, lingering out in the foyer that overlooked the gate room. Hammond walked around his desk and shut the door as Daniel sat down. Jack looked at Sam who stared at the door. 

"What's goin' on?" he asked, no tension, or even concern, noticeable in his voice. 

She wouldn't tell him, out of spite. It just gnawed at his curiosity even more and she knew it, which is why she did it. She also wanted to give Hammond the chance to change Daniel's mind, because if she told the Colonel, he'd storm in there and make things worse. 

~~~~ 

Inside, Hammond sat back down behind his desk. 

"What can I do for you, Dr. Jackson?" 

"Sir, are you aware of the increasing antagonism between myself and Colonel O'Neill?" 

Uh oh, Hammond thought. He's calling him _Colonel O'Neill._ This is bad. 

"Yes, Dr. Jackson. I am. I'm attempting to get to the bottom of it." 

Daniel knew then that that's why Jack was in Hammond's office. They'd been having a **_chat_**. 

"Well, Sir, if there's something I've done wrong, will you do me a favour and tell me, because Colonel O'Neill won't let me in on it." 

"You haven't done anything wrong, son. I'm certain of that. I'm still trying to nail down the problem, however." 

"Well, Sir," and Daniel handed him his white envelope. "I can't wait. I'm not going on another mission with him. I'm officially requesting a transfer." 

Oh no. "Dr. Jackson, I don't--" 

"Sir," Daniel interrupted. He closed his eyes tightly and held up a single finger. "I need reassignment. If there is nowhere else for me to be useful here, then I'll have to hand in my resignation and leave. I can't take this abuse any longer. It's affecting my work, Sir. And it's affecting my work in the field because I can't work with him anymore. God knows, I've tried being as professional as I can be. Colonel O'Neill does his job, Sir," Daniel added, forestalling a questioning look from Hammond. "He's always done his military best. But I'm not...a friend anymore...and I'm being treated with so much disrespect that I don't think I'm a team mate any more either. His leadership ability with everyone else is fine...except with me." 

"I think maybe it's time for all of you to take a vacation. You think maybe it's stress from too many missions without a break?" 

"Sir, a vacation won't do it, and it's not stress. Well," and he amended that, "not stress from work, certainly. He doesn't want me around, Sir, and I can't work in that kind of environment when I don't have to. I've put up with it for a long time, but I've just had enough." 

"Dr. Jackson, his comments during this last mission were extremely out of line. I've reprimanded him for that and you won't be hearing anything like them again." 

"It won't matter, Sir. As you once said, I've had enough." 

Daniel stood up and Hammond did as well. "Dr. Jackson, please take a little longer to think about this decision." 

"To what end, Sir?" Daniel asked plaintively. "To what end? I thought he was my friend, and then after that replicator business that got the Russians the stargate, he was...shut off. After I got back from the asteroid business, he was mean. I don't know why, either. I've never said or done anything that I know of to make him so....hateful." 

"Colonel O'Neill doesn't hate you, son." 

"I have to go." Daniel suddenly got up, not wanting to hear any soft words from the General. He knew he meant well but he just couldn't take hearing them. "I'd prefer to be on an archaeological team, Sir, but I'm sure you'll assign me where I'm needed most....apart from SG1." 

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked gently. 

"No, Sir. Thanks for being here, and thanks for listening to me. It's really appreciated," and Daniel held out his hand to shake the General's hand. Hammond held it out and shook his. 

"Dr. Jackson, you're not leaving are you? I thought you said..." 

"No Sir, I just suddenly felt the need to say that, that's all." 

Hammond nodded, understanding a little. "I'm going to think about this, then I'll probably end up sending all of SG1 on a week's leave. Your team sure could use it." 

"Yes, Sir, but..." then shook his head. He was going to say they weren't his team anymore, but he didn't want to upset the General anymore than he already had. 

Daniel opened the door and found Sam hovering, and Jack nearby glowering at her for not talking. Daniel turned and looked at Hammond respectfully, nodding his head, then glanced at Sam, turned to walk past her and Jack. 

"Daniel.." she entreated softly. 

"Daniel," Jack said, half in greeting, half in question. 

Daniel knew what he wanted and he wasn't playing anymore. As far as he was concerned, this man no longer existed as anything but the leader of SG1 and the 2IC of the SGC. 

"Colonel," Daniel responded coolly, making sure he didn't look at him as he walked past. 

That brought Jack up short and he frowned in confusion. "Colonel? Since when do you call me, Colonel, **Doctor**?" 

"Since now," Daniel said, his back to him as he walked away as fast as he could without making it look like he was trying to get away. 

Jack's mouth dropped open. He looked over at Hammond, who glared at him and then slammed his door shut. Jack turned around and looked at Sam in confusion and rising anger. "Somebody wanna tell me what the fuck is going on?" 

She glared at him, as mad as she'd ever been at him, and folded her arms. Her fingers dug into her arms. "Daniel's leaving us, Sir, and pardon me for being out of line here, but it's all your goddamn fault." She stalked off then, going straight to Daniel's office. 

Her words echoed in his ears. _leaving us....leaving us.....leaving us...._ Carter was right. It was his fault. He'd let his fears and unreasonable worries get a hold of him. He'd thought himself so smart to distance himself from Daniel, but that distancing had backfired, making him feel worse, and as a result, he'd irrationally blamed Daniel and taken it out on him. But then, why did he even distance himself from Daniel at all? It wasn't that he couldn't control his own desire. It wasn't that he didn't have the training to keep himself professional at all times. The problem was that he didn't **want** to be attracted to, much less in love with, the genius archaeologist-linguist-etc. of SG1. He didn't have a problem with him being a man. He had a problem with him being....Daniel. His team mate. His 'former' best friend. 

In his world, and in his past, you didn't mix love and work. The two never went hand in hand very well, especially when it was within the command structure. Even though Daniel was a civilian, it still wouldn't work because he was a member of a field team. And a member of the "flagship" field team. Jack had learned in his long career that those things never lasted and they always ended up with someone hurt or dead. He couldn't handle that. Especially since Daniel was an accident waiting for a place to happen. Daniel had said that once, and it was a good cliché to use this time. Jack had to get a hold of his temper and rein things in and the only way to do that was to come clean with Daniel and have it all out in the open. And there was no way - **no goddamn way** \- Daniel was leaving SG1. 

"Over my dead body," he muttered and headed towards Daniel's office. 

~~~ 

**Part Two**

Daniel went to his office, grabbed his keys and shut off his computer. The work could wait until Monday. Right now, he needed to get as far away from the mountain as possible. Sam was there, bugging the crap out of him, and deep down, he really appreciated it, but right now... 

"Daniel," she asked as he locked his office. "Are you and I still friends?" He stopped, stunned. She looked hurt and very concerned. 

"Yeah, Sam, we are. Of course we are." 

"Okay," she said, letting out a breath. "Then come have some dinner with me and talk this out. Maybe we can figure it all out." 

He didn't answer her as she followed him to the gear up room. He opened his locker to change into his civilian clothes. 

"Daniel.." she reminded him. 

"Sam, I can't talk right now. I'm...too upset. Maybe later on this weekend, but for now...I can't. Please try to understand. Besides, the problem isn't with you." 

"Maybe not, but you're taking it out on me and Teal'c. We won't be able to..." and she was going to finish with '..work with anyone else..' but she stopped as she saw the look in his eyes, warning her not to go there. She sighed. 

"Sam, I promise, I'll talk to you later, but not right now. Not tonight. Maybe not tomorrow. I'll see how I feel on Sunday. Okay? Please? I need some space to cool off." He put a reassuring hand on her arm and she did the same back. 

"Okay, I'm sorry." She hugged him then, hugged him hard. 

He dropped a kiss on her head then pulled away. "People will talk," he joked with her, letting her know that their friendship was still okay. "Now, go, unless you want to watch me change clothes." 

She pressed her lips inward, biting them with embarrassment. "Oops. Sorry. I'll talk to you later then, hopefully." 

He merely nodded and she left their locker room. He pulled off his clothes and rapidly changed into his jeans and cotton shirt. He was slipping on his sneakers and tying them when Jack walked in. Daniel sighed. Jack had that 'I'm beatin' the crap out of something' look. Lately it was directed at himself and this was no exception. Jack stared at him. But instead of a cold, hard stare, this one was more like....what? Panic? 

"You're not leaving SG1," Jack informed him matter-of-factly. 

"Don't worry, Colonel. You'll adjust quickly to someone else, I'm sure." 

"That's not what I meant. We need to talk this out. And since when...why are you calling me _Colonel_?" 

"It's your rank," Daniel said just as matter-of-factly. He finished dressing and grabbed his jacket. "Now, if you will excuse me, I'm outta here." 

Jack grabbed him by the arm and Daniel twisted away. "Don't touch me," he said quietly. "Don't you ever touch me." The force of his _soft_ voice hit Jack hard. And unfortunately, he got mad. As a result of that anger, he grabbed Daniel again. 

Daniel pulled his arm viciously away, banging his elbow into the wall. The pain of it came out in his words. "You got shit for brains or something? What did I just fucking say?" and he walked out of the locker room, not daring to hold his elbow until he was sure Jack was out of sight. 

Jack stood there, numb for a second at hearing the venom in Daniel's voice, the almost hateful look in his eyes. But more than that...there was a lot of pain there...the same kind he'd seen in Daniel's eyes after Shau're was killed. He opened his locker and got undressed and dressed so quickly that he was able to catch up to Daniel in the parking garage. Daniel was already in his car, starting it up. Jack reached over and placed his hand on the edge of the fully opened window. 

"Daniel, I'm serious. We need to talk." 

Daniel didn't look at him. In fact, he had to avoid it. Tears were beginning to break free. Tears of anger, frustration, sorrow, depression. They were too much to hold back and though his face was impassive, the tears began to fall anyway. And Jack saw them as Daniel put the car in reverse and backed out of the parking spot. 

He swallowed hard, not used to the sight of Daniel's tears, even though he'd seen them only recently, crying over that stupid android. He sighed and felt a hitching in his chest. Panic. He wasn't used to that feeling, even out in the field...except that one time he had to leave Daniel aboard that ship four years ago. Shaking the memory off, he got into his truck and followed Daniel off the mountain. 

~~~~ 

Daniel was mad as hell. How dare the man follow him home. He pulled into his driveway and got out of his car quickly. Jack sped in right behind him and jumped out of his truck. Daniel didn't hide his face from him this time and gave Jack a full glare before going to the door. 

"Goddamn it, Daniel. We really do need to talk." 

"It's too fucking late, _Colonel_. Go home," and naturally, he had trouble getting the key into the door, which allowed Jack time to catch up to him. Daniel opened the door, then turned to Jack. "Leave. I don't want you here. You're not welcome. Do you understand? You started it, I'm finishing it. Fuck off and die, Jack O'Neill," and he started to slam his door on him but Jack pushed his way in and slammed the door behind him. 

"You are going to listen to me," Jack told him, taking off his coat. 

Daniel stared at the audacity of the man and managed to get even angrier. A lot angrier. He slipped his coat off and then walked up to Jack, standing only a foot away from the man, meeting his eyes evenly. 

In a very low and dangerous voice, he said, "Get...out...of...my...house." He stared Jack down and didn't back off this time. But then, he was dealing with Jack, so of course, Jack didn't back down, either. Daniel cocked his head suddenly and decided on another tack. 

"Maybe you'd like to put me through a wall instead. Is that what you'd like, Jack?" and Daniel placed a hand on Jack's chest...and shoved. 

Jack couldn't believe it. Daniel was baiting him. Provoking him. Truthfully, Jack knew he deserved it and he was getting an earful. He didn't bother to shove back...just yet, letting Daniel have his say. And boy, did he. 

Daniel shoved him again, making Jack take a step back. "Isn't that what you want, Jack? To beat the shit out of me? Well, guess what? I can hold my own now, so come on," and he shoved him again, "come on, let's see you shove me into a wall." He shoved harder this time. "Come on, Colonel fucking hardass! Do what you've always wanted to do! Come on! We're not friends anymore. You've fucking well seen to that!" 

Then he paused, squinting his eyes, and decided, for once, to take advantage of his resentful anger and let Jack have it all. "Actually, I don't think we've **ever been** friends. You make rude comments about my work constantly, you cut me off continuously during meetings in front of General Hammond, you always ask others opinions first **before** considering any idea I might have to solving a problem. You patronise me in front of our allies, enemies, and so-called friends. How's that even equate to a supposed friendship?" 

Jack was stunned through the sudden tirade, taking the minor shoving that Daniel was giving him as part of the anger. Daniel was on a roll and Jack's own ego was getting a whale of a beating. 

"I've fought this off for a long time, Colonel, but no more. You made it clear you wanted me gone, so I am. Now you have the fucking audacity to **tell** me I'm not going anywhere!? Well, fuck that. I don't take orders from you," and Jack snorted, "and you've always hated me for it, haven't you? I'm a **civilian** , _Colonel_. In the field, I take orders as much as I'm supposed to, but I don't answer to you, I answer to General Hammond. I won't do the 'yes-sir-no-sir-keep-it-buttoned-up-sir' bullshit! You wanted a fight, mister, and now, here, you've got one, so, COME ON!" then Daniel shoved him so hard that Jack fell back into the door. 

Now, Jack was pissed off. Without a word, he swung out and landed a fist across Daniel's jaw, sending him backward to land on his ass. Daniel held his jaw and moved it, making sure it wasn't broken. He glared at Jack as he started to get up, but knew that's what Jack expected. Instead, Daniel swung a leg out and caught Jack behind the knees, dropping him with a loud thud onto his back. 

When Jack got his wind back, he was raging. "You bastard," and he lunged at Daniel, swinging a fist and connecting with the other side of his jaw. Though the blow was glancing, and the fact that he subconsciously wouldn't allow himself to really hurt Daniel, he was so freakin' mad at him he really did want to hit him hard. He didn't know what else to do. 

He landed on top of him and pushed Daniel into the carpet, holding his arms in a vicelike grip. Daniel fought back well, occasionally gave Jack a smarting hand aside his face and head. Jack raised a hand to smack Daniel back, to make him stop fighting with him. Daniel braced himself for it, his jaw clenching and the look in his eyes saying 'come on, you bastard, I can take it!' 

Suddenly, emotions flooded Jack other than anger. Fear, being one. He lowered his hand and pulled Daniel to him in a horizontal bear hug, holding on tight and whispering madly against his neck. 

"Goddamn you, Daniel. Please...stop fighting me. I am so fucking sorry for being a sonofabitch to you. Please don't leave me, please don't." 

Daniel snapped his eyes wide open suddenly and stared at Jack, confusion surrounding him. _Don't leave **me?**_ Tears threatened to escape Jack's eyes and Daniel wondered what the fuck was going on. 

"What the hell do you want from me, Colonel?" he barked, rolling himself sharply out of his grasp. "One minute we're supposedly friends, the next minute, I'm your fucking enemy. You actually **said** you wanted to hit me...in front of others!" 

He stood up and brushed himself off dramatically, then started crashing around the room, looking for something to throw or break, but he wouldn't damage his artefacts and antiques because of Jack, and somehow, that made him madder. He was furious with Jack and he couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Why had everything gone to hell in a hand basket? 

"Why, Colonel Jack, Sir? Why? What the fuck did I do?" 

"I don't know!" Jack responded. "I don't fucking know, okay?" He was lying through his teeth and Daniel could read him like a book. 

"YES YOU DO!" he screamed back, "but I'm fucked if I know. I'm off the team, Jack, you can tell me now 'cause it's not going to affect us one way or another. As soon as we're back at work I'm either out of SG-1 or I'm out of the SGC. I am **not** putting up with your crap any more." 

Jack's tears fell now - sheer frustration taking over. He couldn't admit to Daniel how he felt. He just couldn't. He was going to tell him, but...indecision and cowardice were winning out over honesty. 

Daniel sat on his arm chair and stared at him, using his razor sharp mind to work out the various reasons behind it. He **knew** he had done nothing wrong. So why couldn't Jack be civil to him anymore? 

Daniel ran through a list of things that Jack held dear. His family. Daniel had done nothing to hurt or dishonour the memory of Charlie and he hadn't seen Sara in years. His team. That was a laugh, Jack's behaviour was breaking the team up and Daniel was positive that he himself had done nothing. His job. What was it about Jack's job that he could cause problems for him? The closeness of the team? - no, Jack had never let that bother him before, was proud of it even. Sam? The zatarc thing? No, Sam had told him all about that. Whatever regulation breaking either had been tempted to consider was long past. Sam was not interested in him and the possibility of Jack being jealous about a brotherly relationship with her was ludicrous. Unless.....unless....oh shit. Jack wasn't in love with Sam; Jack was in love with him?! No...how the hell could that be? 

But Daniel thought about it. Jack seemed to be displaying that alpha male courtship/jealousy thing. Because there was nothing Jack could do about it, this was the way his frustrated emotions released themselves. But even if he himself could initiate something toward Jack, would he want to? 

Would he? 

The thought that Jack loved him....it sent his mind racing. He couldn't think properly. The revelation he'd just made suddenly burned out every other synaptic thought and roared at him like a neon sign. Jack Loves You! Oh God. That thought ran around and around, like that crazy cartoon Daffy Duck, only on speed. 

Daniel rose from his chair slowly, keeping his eyes focused on Jack. His focused look was returned warily as Jack wiped off his wet face with the back of his hand. 

"Jack?" Daniel said, deciding now was not the time to continue to call him _Colonel_. He hesitated, not sure if he should confront him about it or not. But then, Jack had no problem **voicing** his own opinions, did he? Didn't have a problem sounding off on him, did he? Fuck no. Screw it. 

He walked over to his soon-to-be former team leader, took him gently by the arm and sat him down on the couch. "Jack? Do you....love me?" 

Jack went white. "No!...No, Daniel...I..." and he started to get up but Daniel held his arm. 

"Oh, admit it, for God's sake! Can't you be honest with me like you were in the past? What's it matter now anyway?" 

"It matters. **You** matter. I've just....I swear I'll stop this insane bullshit I've been going through, but please, **please** , don't leave the team." 

"How the hell can I stay? You're obviously pretty fucked up about me. You love me and won't, can't, or shouldn't admit it, and you know what? Those excuses don't work with me. Military or no, we live under special circumstances all the fuckin' time! Why the hell should this be any different? **Talk** to me. It's what you followed me here to do, isn't it? Isn't it?" 

"Look Daniel," and he cleared his throat, getting a better handle on his emotions now, though he still felt like panicking and crying because of it. "When Sam told me you were leaving...I...I...snapped. I can't handle the thought of you leaving...and my treatment of you suddenly became clear...crystal clear...and I can't justify it anymore." 

"Do you love me, dammit?" Daniel asked, keeping his voice as neutral as he could. 

Jack was suddenly annoyed and defensive. "And if I said 'yes', what then? What would you do with that?" 

Daniel blinked. Several times. He actually had no idea what he'd do with that. He had loved Jack, sure, but only as a good friend. Someone he had thought of as his best friend, but now realised Jack never was. Now, maybe Daniel knew why, but he still had no idea what to do with the new information...or how to answer the question. 

"You've never seen me that way, have you Daniel?" Jack asked, quiet now. He folded his hands between his knees and looked back and forth between Daniel and at his hands. 

Again, Jack watched as Daniel sat there quietly, blinking. Assessing. Assessing him? 

Daniel **was** assessing....slowly. He made himself look at Jack as if through the eyes of a lover and he was very surprised at what he found. First, he considered Jack's appearance. Jack was definitely appealing in a macho sort of way. Jack was very good looking and he had always thought so, so that wasn't any revelation. 

Okay, so here comes the hard part. He considered the **thing** he would never have thought of. Was Jack appealing...sexually? Daniel looked at his mouth, took in the hard lines, edges and small curves of his face; then considered the same in his body. 

Jack smiled, realising that Daniel was sizing him up for the first time. It wasn't a hard thing to imagine Daniel that way, but himself? It was actually one of the reasons he panicked and backed off, deciding not to tell Daniel he loved him. His ego was okay most times, but he couldn't run the risk of being rejected...by Daniel. 

Daniel blinked even more, as his thoughts carried him to previously unthought of places. He swallowed hard. _Oh God_. He **could** see having sex with him. Making love. Just when his mind started to _visualise_ specific movements and actions, like going down....he stopped thinking. 

Daniel's jaw fell open in complete surprise. He got up and walked around the room again, his hand covering half his face as he berated himself for thinking those thoughts to which his body would inevitably react. 

Jack merely watched him silently, hoping and praying that if Daniel couldn't handle it, even if he'd never actually admitted to loving Daniel, that Daniel would at least **accept** it and move on. 

Daniel stopped mid-stride and shielded his eyes. "I need a drink. You want one?" He couldn't believe the evenness of his voice, though he was grateful for it. 

"Yeah, I would, actually." Jack let out a long sigh. 

Daniel went to the kitchen and pulled out an old bottle of JD. He laughed bitterly, staring at the label, then poured two-fingers into two glasses. He added some ice and returned to the living room, handing Jack his glass. 

"Thanks. What was so funny?" 

Daniel held up his glass. "Ironic humour. This is JD." 

Jack snorted with the same ironic amusement. 

They sat in comparative silence for a while, sipping the heating liquor. Daniel tried to clear his mind but he couldn't, so he let his mind wander. Which then found itself focusing on Jack. 

Jack finished his drink and set it on the coffee table. "I should go, Daniel." He got up and grabbed his jacket, then made a beeline for the door. Daniel set his glass down and followed him. 

"We still haven't worked anything out, Jack. If there is anything to work out, that is." His tone was calm, his manner quiet. Jack looked at him expectantly. 

"There is, Daniel. Hammond won't put through the transfer until emotions have cooled off. Are you still going to leave the team?" 

"I don't know, Jack. If we can't work together, what's the point?" 

"We can, Daniel. I just need to stop acting like your enemy." 

Daniel stared at him for a few moments. "Can you tell me why you did?" 

Jack still couldn't say it and so...he hedged. "Um, I need to sort that out 'cause I'm not really sure I have an explanation that wouldn't end up with my foot in my mouth." 

"Uh huh," Daniel replied, still plenty angry. A rather foolish, mischievous and dangerous idea came to him. 

He was going to say something, then decided against it. He moved toward Jack, not at all sure where he wanted to go with this idea, but **he** had to know for himself. If he could **see** Jack in any other way, maybe he could help him sort things out. And help himself as well. He wasn't convinced it was a _good_ idea, but sometimes...you just had to go with instincts. 

Jack eyed him warily as he put on his leather jacket. "What are you doing, Daniel?" 

" **If**...if you care about me like I think you care about me, how about letting me see if there's..." and he noticed Jack shifting uncomfortably. "If there's something...between us. Something you've seen but I haven't. **Maybe**...there's nothing there _to_ see." Daniel moved closer. 

"Uh, that's not a good idea," Jack said and held a palm out to ward Daniel off. Daniel pressed his chest into Jack's palm, then made Jack gasp silently as he brought a hand up to Jack's jaw, brushing a thumb over the whiskered skin. The connection tingled, along with the hand that touched Daniel's chest briefly before moving away. Daniel felt...something...too. He inched closer to Jack so that their bodies were just touching, as if for a hug. But Daniel was moving his face closer to Jack's and it wasn't for any hug. His lips came close to Jack's and he paused, looking into Jack's eyes. 

Jack started to move away. "Uh, Daniel, aren't you straight?" 

"No more than you, apparently," he cracked, and suddenly noticing the different shades of hazel and brown he wondered why he'd never noticed them before. He moved his hand behind Jack's ear and pulled himself even closer. His lips barely brushed against Jack's. They were soft, and trembled slightly. He realised that his own were as well. Sensing that Jack was going to try backing away again, he leaned in and pressed his lips in a firm kiss. 

What happened afterward surprised the hell out of him. 

First, Jack pulled away slightly and whispered against his lips. "You shouldn't have done that, Daniel," he growled, then he kissed him back, with more force and passion, encircling him with his arms. 

Second, Daniel was surprised at his own reaction. His jaw stung with the rapidly growing bruise from Jack's fist, but he didn't care about the pain. Daniel knew only that Jack's lips felt good. Great, in fact. He inadvertently let out a moan because of it and Jack took that as encouragement and deepened the kiss, opening his mouth. Daniel felt his tongue meeting Jack's and his body became weak, tingly...filled with such longing that he might never have realised if not for this moment. Jack's tongue searched and probed gently in his mouth and Daniel felt their mutual arousal brushing against each other. A tiny moan of need escaped Jack's throat and into Daniel's mouth, making him respond by tightening his arms around Jack's warm, strong back. Daniel's desire suddenly became almost overwhelming and he broke the kiss, gasping and pulling away slowly. He was stunned. He hadn't expected **anything** to happen. But it had. 

Jack was breathless, and bemused. He noticed the surprise written all over Daniel's face. And he noted the slightly darkened pupils in his eyes, the flush in his cheeks. 

"Wow," was all Daniel whispered. Jack hugged him gently, taking in Daniel's unique scent. 

"You didn't expect anything to happen, did you?" he quietly asked against his neck. Daniel shook his head. "I think your little plan backfired." What Jack wouldn't admit to...just yet, anyway, was that what they felt, together, was just as much a surprise to him. 

"I guess we've got some thinking to do," Daniel said finally, pulling away a little more. "And you've got some tall explaining to do, too." 

Jack nodded and stepped completely away from Daniel. "Yes, I do. To myself as well as to you." 

Again Daniel nodded. "When you feel you can talk, call me or just come over. But don't wait until Monday, Jack. I can't leave this thing hanging. No matter what does, or does not, happen between us, it's either fixed between us, or it's over and I'll be moving on." 

"An ultimatum, Daniel?" Jack asked, almost sarcastically. 

The lines deepened in Daniel's face, the anger returning. The long tension between them was not going to go away in a day. Too many hurt feelings...all of them Jack's fault. Jack's sarcastic tone brought Daniel's anger back again, though thinking on it later, he would be glad for the control in his voice. 

"No, Jack. A choice. You know this has to be fixed, one way or the other. It's no ultimatum unless you make it one." 

Jack understood that and nodded. He gave Daniel a long, careful look, then left. 

Daniel shut the door and leaned against it. He let out a long breath. He was trembling now. But for what reason, he couldn't tell...except for the small fact that he was hard as hell. 

~~~ 

**Part Three**

Jack sat in his living room and cradled a drink in his hands, not really wanting it, but needing something to hold, something to do......something to help him think. Daniel had done it again. Figured it out, pulled the rug out from under his feet and now he wasn't sure what he should do. 

Oh, he wanted Daniel and he knew it. That brief kiss had told him that all his fantasies, all his dreams could come true if only he had the balls to go through with it. 

And therein lay the crux of the matter. Did he have the courage? The courage to risk his job, his team, his pension, his liberty......but most of all his heart. He'd never thought himself a coward, but now - now he wasn't so sure. He weighed up the options. Take a chance on Daniel and he'd get him back, get the team back to being happy and working together the way it used to. He knew Daniel was no quitter - not in life, not on the job and certainly not in relationships. His determination to find Shau're had proved that over and over. He was also forgiving. Jack only had to think about Nick to know that Daniel could find it in his heart to forgive his behaviour, especially now. Jack also knew that Daniel seemed to understand why he'd been such a bastard to him. Jack knew then that any relationship with Daniel would be **the** one. The end. No more. 

If Daniel wanted him, that was. 

Of course, the down side was that they could get caught, Jack could lose his pension, his job, maybe even get jail time. Though, his more rational brain told him, none of the above were overly likely. Hammond would be so fucking thrilled that they were getting on again, that he'd turn a blind eye as long as he could, and if worst came to the worst, Jack could retire. He'd done that before. He could do that again. 

If Daniel wanted him, that was. 

'Crap', he thought. Daniel had been aroused by the kiss, but then it had been a long time, as far as Jack knew, since he had been kissed. Surely almost anyone kissing him would do that to him? Wouldn't it? But then Daniel's face as he'd figured it out. That had to count for something, didn't it? 

Jack got frustrated, angry at himself, especially at his own mind. It was fucking confusing matters, not giving him the straight answers that he wanted. He stormed upstairs and headed into the bedroom where he ripped his clothes off before heading into the bathroom for a quick shower before going to bed. He knew it was going to be a long night. 

As he stood under the warm water and soaped himself he tried to imagine what life would be like if he didn't take the chance. No Daniel on the team. Possibly not even at the SGC. How many times had Daniel been there for them, for him specifically? He'd be dead many times over and he knew it. More to the point, even if he was alive, he would be a soulless, heartless, humourless bastard. Just the way he had been for months. 

Jack smacked his head on the back of the shower wall. What in hell's name had he been doing? To himself as well as to Daniel. He'd built him up, become the best friend he'd ever had and then when he realised that he needed Daniel in his life - in his fucking BED for God's sake - he'd shut him down hard and fast and poor Daniel hadn't had a fucking clue why. 

Jack was amazed that he hadn't been shot in the back for that. He fucking deserved it. 

Well, whatever Daniel decided, Jack made a promise to himself. He was going to be honest with Daniel from now on. No matter what that cost him. 

~~~~ 

Daniel was going through the same thing as Jack. Were the risks worth it for a relationship that he hadn't even considered a possibility until earlier that evening? 

Daniel was cross too. How dare Jack even think of him this way and obviously for quite some time without clueing him in. Then he was cross with himself for not realising it sooner. It was fucking obvious now, given hindsight. 

'So much for being a genius, Jackson,' his imagination sneered. 

Mirroring Jack he headed for the shower, still preoccupied as he entered it and started up the water. Soaping himself down, his mind still on Jack, he became aware that he was beginning to get really aroused. He let his mind wander and think of Jack as an object of desire. The hard, scarred body; those beautiful brown eyes; the lips that he could now **feel** as he replayed that electric kiss. He became harder and harder and decided to do something about it. 

'Okay, Jackson, let's see how far this goes.' 

_Jack stepped into the shower and stood magnificently naked in front of him. Not saying a word, he took the sponge from Daniel and tenderly massaged the gel into Daniel's shoulders and throat, letting the water wash away the bubbles before starting on his arms. He lingered at his pulse points, gently stroking the sponge over the inside of his wrists and elbows and sending shivers down Daniel's spine. The stomach next, soft swipes along the bottom of his rib cage before turning Daniel around and cleaning his back._

_'Hold onto the wall Danny,' he whispered and Daniel stood there, the palms of his hands pressed against the wall as he felt the sponge work its way down his spine and between the cheeks of his ass. This was followed by the redirected water and finally Jack's tongue. They hadn't kissed, but this - this was perfect. That tongue, which was generally used for shouting at Daniel, was kissing his ass, licking the falling drops of water as they trailed a path down his cleft and finally tickling his anus._

_Daniel screamed with pure pleasure as the tongue pushed its way inside him, sending shock waves straight through to his dick. When he felt he couldn't take any more, Jack withdrew his tongue and replaced it with two fingers coated in conditioner, roughly fucking him as he moaned and begged for more. The fingers went and soon Daniel felt something larger at his entrance._

_'Tell me Danny, tell me what you want,' Jack's voice softly growled._

_'Fuck me, Jack, do it,' Daniel ordered._

_He gasped as he felt Jack enter him in one, swift, firm movement. Jack gave him a moment to adjust to the sensation and then moved when told to. Slowly at first, then building up his speed, he pumped into the waiting body harder and faster, angling his hips to hit the sweet spot time and time again._

_Daniel felt like he was going out of his mind. He called out, 'Dio! Bébé! Fuck me harder! Bastardo! Dios!'_

Daniel came harder than he could ever remember, one hand on his dick, the other with two fingers stroking inside his ass. 

Trembling violently, he collapsed to the floor of the tub, riding out the waves of the orgasm. When they faded, he brought his knees to his chin and softly cried. 

If they weren't careful now, they could completely fuck everything up. 

~~~ 

**Part Four**

After trudging around his house the next morning, Daniel didn't have the energy or desire to do anything, so he just kicked back on the couch and stared up at his bookcase shelves. All he could think about was Jack. Everything was Jack. His anger was about Jack. His frustration was about Jack. His caring and love were about Jack. And his desires, oh boy, were about Jack. 

All night long, he'd tossed and turned, dreaming of Jack: about making love; fucking; about their conflicted, over-stressed, and confusing relationship. Add to the fact that he also couldn't get his mind off Jack's warm lips and hot body was also just as maddening. 

His eyes focused on one of their team pictures on the middle shelf. Jack had almost always stood next to him in all the team photos he had. He figured that it was coincidence, but he found himself wishing that it wasn't. Though he now knew Jack loved him, he didn't know anything more than that. Last night's kiss had been astounding, bringing out this...clichéd electrical current. Daniel hadn't _ever_ been aroused so fast in his life. That arousal stayed with him, even after he'd found release in the shower. This morning, he'd felt it just as strongly as before, only without the erection. What the hell did that mean, anyway? 

Jack and him. Him and Jack. As friends, that sounded normal. As lovers though? It was still hard to get a handle on **those** feelings. He had them, sure, but they scared him. They were intense, overwhelming. The depth of them had surprised him and he didn't like being surprised by his own feelings. Daniel knew how to channel his thoughts and how to face unwanted feelings. He didn't withdraw or push them away. He'd examine them until he'd figure out what to do with them, and then accept whatever conclusion he came up with. 

It was easy to do with Shau're. First meeting her and finding out he'd been married. That had taken a lot of effort, considering the fact that he'd been preferring guys most of his life. After Sarah, he'd thought he was done with women. Then there came Shau're. He knew he was intrigued with her, with her being a transplanted Egyptian. Over time, he'd grown to love her with a passion. Then came her abduction and possession. He'd had a difficult time dealing with those emotions. Fear, anger. Hate. The hate that came was the worst he'd ever experienced. He didn't hate very many people, but he'd come to actively hate Apophis. It took many hours of soul-searching and his own form of meditative mind-control to channel that hatred effectively. 

Then came Shau're's death. For a little time, he'd hated Teal'c. In Shau're's dream message, he'd hated him, then forgave him. But in his own reality, it had taken a little longer, even though he'd told Teal'c it had been the right thing to do. It still took a long, long time to forgive him. But he had. 

Then there was the fact that he'd lost one of the best friendships he'd ever had...and then found out he'd lost it because of...love. How stupidly convoluted was that? 

Daniel had no idea how to handle this one. When he left the mountain last night, he'd been sure how to handle things, but that was before. Before he knew that Jack loved him in one of the most screwed up ways possible. 

"This is what happens when you don't deal with your feelings, Jack!" he shouted angrily to the empty house. He sighed deeply, still trying to forage his way through the massive forest of Jack's fucked up emotions. "Can't you see?" he whispered, sudden unexpected tears silently falling down his face. Sniffing hugely, he wiped his face. 

A knock at the door made him jump. He got up and opened the door. Jack stood there, giving him a small smile. 

"Hi," Jack greeted carefully, seeming to seek reassurance that it was okay for him to be standing there. 

"Hi back," and Daniel gave him a tiny smile in return and stepped aside to let Jack in. It was around noon and Jack noticed that Daniel hadn't even opened the blinds. It was kind of dark. 

"Sun's out, Daniel. Feel like having a little light in here?" and he motioned around the room. Daniel looked around as if noticing for the first time that he'd been in the dark. Without a word about it, he opened up and let in the light. The living room brightened considerably, then Daniel opened the blinds to the kitchen's French doors, bringing in even more light. Now it looked like daytime. It took Daniel a few seconds to become accustomed. Frankly, he hadn't cared one way or the other, but now that Jack was here, he guessed it might be a good idea to be able to _see_ the man's face clearly. 

"Have a seat, Jack. You want something to drink?" 

"What d'you got?" Jack asked, sitting down on the sofa. 

Daniel checked the fridge. "Um, well..." and he grimaced. "I'm gonna have to go out and get something. You want beer, coke, what?" and he moved to the bureau by the sofa and grabbed his keys and wallet. 

"I just got here, Daniel," Jack said in a guffaw, standing up. 

"Yeah, well, I haven't had company in a long while, and truthfully, I forgot about being sociable so I didn't go anywhere earlier to make sure I could have something around for guests...such as you." 

"Water will do, Daniel," Jack said impatiently. 

Daniel looked at him. "Maybe, but the store's only a block away, and I'd like a coke. So, if you wanna hold down the fort here, I'll be back." He opened the front door, and paused. "What kind of beer?" 

Jack sighed and walked over to the door. "We'll both go, come on." 

Daniel shrugged and walked out the door. "Fine but I'm taking my car." 

"Let's take my truck." 

"Car." 

"Truck." 

"CAR." 

"TRUCK." 

~~~~ 

Daniel placed his three bags on the counter, listening to Jack shut the door and carry over the other two. He didn't say a word as Jack set the bags down and helped him put away the groceries. He was angry, with himself as much as Jack. Jack was doing his usual, forcing his own way of doing things on him and Daniel was allowing him to do it. He tried to stop it but....... 

~~~~ 

30 minutes earlier... 

The grocery store had been an almost surreal event. Daniel had decided to get more than just something to drink and of course, Jack convinced him to get some food for two. Jack justified it on the grounds that it would probably take him all afternoon to explain himself and he'd need food. With that strangely logical reasoning, Daniel agreed. But he'd begun to wish he hadn't. 

Jack argued with him over what to get and what not to, which brands of potato chips, pizza, produce, meat, etc. What kinds of fruit, for cryin' out loud. Jack argued with him about everything....and it was for Daniel's house and Daniel was paying for it! Daniel had made the mistake of asking Jack which kind of pizza he liked. He meant it only absently as he'd glanced at the frozen food section, but Jack had turned it into some sort of alpha male hunting expedition. Daniel placed his own selection in the cart. 

"You pick what you want, Jack. I'll be in the produce section," and he left Jack with the cart. 

Daniel had bagged the salad fixings and was busily determining what kinds of fruits to get when Jack strolled over with the cart. He divested Daniel of his vegetables and placed them into the cart. 

"Jeez, Daniel. You planning on feeding a family?" 

"No, just me....and you, if you want any. I need vegetables and I want a salad." 

"Oh, well, here...have some croutons," and he grabbed a box from the lower shelf of one of the produce islands and tossed it in the cart. Daniel quickly retrieved it and put it back. 

"What's wrong with croutons?" Jack asked, seeming to enjoy this bizarre game they were playing. They acted as if everything were 'normal' between them, when nothing had been resolved. But at the same time, things were going great and it had a 'feel' of friendlier times. 

Daniel also liked the game, as strange as it made him feel. "Nothing. I like croutons, just not those kind. They're...waxy." 

"They're not waxy." 

"These..." and Daniel went to another island and picked up a another brand, one where the croutons were in a plastic bag with an ornate twist tie. "..are much better dried and seasoned." 

Jack frowned. "Those others are _not_ waxy." 

"Yes they are. They have this weird after taste. You don't notice cause you drink beer with everything." 

"They don't taste waxy," Jack argued, getting out of the way of this young woman who was trying to get at the tomatoes he was standing in front of. 

"'Scuse me, sorry," and he moved. 

She grinned at him. "They're waxy," she said, agreeing with Daniel and Daniel beamed at her. 

"See, told ya." 

Jack grumbled and absently picked up an orange and looked at it. Daniel eyed the orange. 

"Would you do me a favour a pick out a few of those. I'm gonna grab some lemons." 

"Limes, too. We could get some tequila." 

Daniel wrinkled his nose. "Huh uh. I'm not drinkin' te-kill-ya." 

"Spoil sport," Jack grumbled again, and started putting oranges into a paper bag. 

"You just wanna get me drunk." 

"That is soooo not true. I only wanna get _me_ drunk." 

In a mocking, and very stereotypical 'gay' voice, Daniel said, "Great, so you won't have to talk to me. That's just so typical, Jack." 

Jack grumbled again. "I was joking, dickhead." 

"Beefwit." 

The young woman had moved on to the onions and started sniggering. Jack and Daniel looked over at her. 

"So, how long you two been dating? Or are you married?" 

Daniel sniggered back and then his sniggering got a little louder. Jack's face was a picture. He stood stock still, staring blankly at the woman, while his hand had _crushed_ the life out of the orange he held. 

"Put that in a plastic bag, Jack. Guess we're buying that one," Daniel snorted, then laughed as he placed the lemons in the cart. 

Jack did, grabbing a few paper towels over the lettuce and cleaning his hands off. Daniel moved over to the woman and whispered conspiratorially. 

"We're newlyweds. He's such a pain in the ass to take shopping, too, but I can't leave him alone in the house." 

The woman started laughing and then giggled as Daniel dragged a sputtering Jack with the cart to the meat section. 

"Daniel!" Jack growled again, this time in serious warning. 

"Jack, you wanted to come to the store with me. But I'm warning you. Don't embarrass me in public. You'll regret it, I promise." 

"Sorry," Jack said in an undertone. Funny thing was...they **were** acting like a _couple_. A romantic _couple._ And what's even more weird, the more they thought about it, the more they realised they'd always acted this way. Daniel was looking over the chicken pieces when he saw Jack glancing in his direction as he stood in front of the beef section. 

"Don't even start with me about the meat, Jack. Just pick what you want to broil later or take home with you." 

"I wasn't going to say anything," he protested. "I was just wondering what you were planning with chicken." 

"Stir fry teriyaki actually. Or barbecued. Haven't made up my mind. But I'm craving chicken." 

Jack started to argue then about teriyaki vs. barbecue and Daniel glared, grabbed the chicken and headed to the check out. 

~~~~ 

Daniel folded the paper sacks and placed them in the recycle bin outside under the covered back patio. He took a glance at Jack, who at least had the decency to feel sheepish and sorry. Git. 

He shut the doors to the patio and picked out a beer, took off the cap, and handed it to Jack. Jack took it. 

"Sorry. I got outta hand, I know. It's just...." 

Daniel raised an eyebrow at the sound of an excuse coming. 

Jack's voice got a little louder for emphasis. "It's just that it felt kind of like old times and--" 

"Jack...making fun's over. There's your beer. You wanna talk, go ahead. I'm making a salad." 

Jack got huffy. "There's no reason for you to be like that. I said I was sorry." 

"Okay, fine," Daniel said, standing at the sink and getting the salad stuff separated and cleaned. "But it was never like that between us...not out in public. I'm not comfortable about it right now. Maybe once I could have been but you pushed me too far. So far that my sense of humour about that stuff is gone. I mean it, Jack. It's fucking gone. I tried. At the store, I really tried. But you **argue** with me about every fuckin' thing. Not even I am that goddamn bad at work. And if you think I am, think about it again and check with Sam and Teal'c. I do _not_ argue with every decision you make." 

Jack had been about to open his mouth, but shut it when Daniel had gone on. The dratted man was right. He hated it so much when Daniel was right all the time. And he decided that now was the time to tell him. 

"You know, Daniel, you're right. Every fuckin' time. Does it ever occur to you that I might get sick of the civilian consultant always showing up the team leader.... _Leader_? My ego is generally okay, but even that irritating crap about being right gets on my nerves once in a while." 

"About me being right? How fucking juvenile is that? You're ego is not secure enough to handle someone else being right?" 

"It is, but you're a civilian, Daniel. I'm the _leader_. How shitty do you think it makes me look to others in the command structure? Ever think of that?" 

"Actually, yes. I do not shout you down in front of others, though, do I? DO I?" 

Jack blinked. "No," he said quietly. 

"How many fucking times have you humiliated me _in front of others_ in order to make sure I'm NOT right?" 

Jack sighed as he realised that, again, Daniel was right. "I don't know. A lot." 

"Just because you can't face or deal with your feelings. That's what all this shit is based on. Everything leads back to that. It's the source. Ever had an honest to goodness emotional outburst that wasn't angry-hostile or laughing-joking? Ever tell someone you _care_ , or you're proud of them, or that they're valued. When was the last time you told that to Sam?" Daniel accused, tossing the produce refuse in a rinsed milk carton for his mulching bin. 

The only time Jack could remember was during her performance review last year. Shit. 

"Do you ever get sick of being right?" 

"Do you ever get sick of being **wrong**?" 

Daniel moved the vegetables to the butcher's block island and pushed the rollable island up against the counter and locked it down. He started peeling and chopping fairly fast, giving Jack something to concentrate on as he tried to think of something else to say. 

Finally, "I'm not wrong all the time, Daniel, but I am where my feelings for you are concerned and I'm sorry about how I've acted. I don't mean to argue, and I didn't mean anything at the store. It felt...comfortable...to me to be able to do that...do you understand what I mean?" 

Daniel thought about that as he slowed his knife down, then stopped. He nodded in agreement. "Okay, I can see that, so I guess I overreacted in the store and I'm sorry." 

Jack sighed with a little relief, making some headway out of the doghouse. He sipped his beer, finding the right way to express himself for what he needed to say. 

Daniel was watching him, alert to the fact that Jack was trying to formulate answers for him. He suddenly felt sheepish himself, guilty for attacking Jack when he should have reined in his emotions and given Jack a fairer hearing. That's just what it felt like he was doing, too. Putting Jack on trial. 

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so judgmental and pissy. I'm mad as hell. I'm also confused by your attitude, in love with you for some stupid reason I can't begin to fathom, and generally waiting for you to get with the program and just figure out how to tell me what's on your mind. I know it's hard for you, and I'm sorry I jumped on you about it." He blushed a little bit, concentrating cutting up the red, green, and orange-yellow bell peppers. 

Jack stared back, dumbfounded that Daniel had said all that, practically admitting he'd been wrong in some ways. But mostly because he'd just said he was in love with him. He wanted to say something...but a huge lump was in his throat and he couldn't talk just then. He swallowed hard, then took a long swig from his beer. 

Daniel suddenly set down the knife, wiped his hands off and grabbed a wine glass from one cabinet, then the wine from another, and poured himself half a glass. He took a long sip, savouring the flavour and taking a time-out for himself as he struggled to get control of the angry flush he felt creeping over him. 

"Daniel?" 

Daniel cleared his throat and set his wine glass down, glad for the distance created by the butcher's block between himself and Jack, sitting at the table. "What?" 

"You're in love with me?" 

"Jack?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I am. Now why can't you say it back?" 

Again, Jack copied Daniel's trademark blinking. Then he stared down at his beer. Then at the stuff on the butcher's block, then finally, up into Daniel's face. 

"I'm...in love with you." He felt a colouring in his own cheeks after admitting that. 

Daniel lifted a corner of his mouth. "Why is that so hard when you've already heard me say it? You afraid I'll take it back? That I was kidding?" 

Jack shook his head. "No, Danny. I've just had to train myself over the last 20 years not to show much emotion. Emotion is hazardous in the field." 

"Except for angry emotion. Apparently that's okay," Daniel replied with sarcasm. 

"Dammit, Daniel. Will you give me a chance, here?" 

Daniel put the knife down and his voice rose an octave. "I'm sorry, Jack! It's just that what you said is contradictory. What you mean is that you can't show that you're afraid or that you care, right?" 

"Yeah, of course." 

"You're not in Black Ops anymore. I can understand the non-emotional thing when we're in the field and facing goa'ulds, but why is showing anger okay? It's just as destructive as fear. You macho boys don't seem to get that." 

Daniel was flippant and he shouldn't have been. What he said hurt Jack. Jack got up and went out to the back patio, leaving the doors open. Daniel sighed and laid the back of his head against one of the cupboard cabinets, then banged it a few times in frustration at himself. _Way to go to make him open up, you fucking dumbass!_ He just lost his appetite. He dumped everything into a big bowl, covered it in wax paper, then set it back in the fridge. He went into the living room and sat down on the couch, taking his wine and wine bottle with him. 

Outside, Jack sat down on the carved wooden stump. If it wasn't meant to sit on, he didn't give a shit at the moment. Jack knew Daniel was mad, and he guessed that things were way too tender to patch up completely over the weekend. He didn't know if it would be better for the two of them to continue to hash things out, or if they should just go their separate ways. Right now, he didn't want either, but didn't know what else to do. 

Sitting on the couch, Daniel finished his wine and poured another half a glass. He thought about the feelings that Jack had raised in him last night as he'd battled them, alone, in his bathroom. Maybe it was time to show Jack, instead of talking to him. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do, and maybe it was also a bad idea, but the kiss last night hadn't been a bad idea. It had turned out to be a good one. 

He heard Jack coming in and heard him picking up his jacket. Daniel got up and headed him off, blocking his way to the front door. "Don't you dare leave, Jack O'Neill." 

"We're not getting things settled, Danny. I can't seem to find the right words, you're too damn angry with me...I don't know **what** to do." 

"Maybe I do," and he took Jack's coat and dropped it on the floor, then grabbed him and kissed the hell out him, driving his tongue down his throat and making Jack hug the shit out of him in return. 

"Clear enough for you, Jack?" he panted, breaking the kiss and unbuttoning his shirt and jeans. "Care to fuck me into oblivion, Jack?" and quickly tossed his clothes off, revealing a very healthy erection. 

Jack didn't need to be asked twice. His clothes flew off and onto the floor as he and Daniel kissed and caressed each other into the bedroom and onto the bed, the both of them hungry, needy. Daniel looped an arm around his neck and rolled him over, straddling his hips. They traded kisses, nips, bites. Switched over and over for being on top, struggling for control until each was worn out and gave in to the other. 

Grabbing the lube from the bedside table, Daniel slid down Jack's body, licking, suckling, until he had Jack's silky organ in his mouth. God, he loved the taste of him. He took long sucking swipes down his length, then deep-throated him. 

Jack's fingers combed through Daniel's soft hair, trying not to pull. Daniel urged him to thrust with his hands, taking the lube and slicking a finger to probe into Jack's rectum. 

"Fucking hell, Danny!" and Jack almost came. He pulled himself away and Daniel off his cock. "If you want me to fuck you, you can't do that again." 

Grabbing the lube, Daniel crawled up and kissed Jack hard, then rolled on his side and handed the lube to Jack, who spooned up behind him. "Fuck me, Jack. Now." 

Slicking his fingers, Jack slipped two fingers into Daniel, making him gasp in pleasure and surprise, arching his back and lifting his top leg to give Jack better access. Jack settled into preparing him slowly but Daniel didn't want it. 

"Now, please!" he urged. "Oh God!" he panted as Jack pushed inside. "That's it, Jack, fuck me." 

"Oh God, Daniel, you feel so good!" he panted as he forced himself to be slow and careful. 

Jack buried himself into him and then hugged Daniel's body against him, wrapping a leg over his hip. He slowly thrust, taking his time, and gradually began to speed up..but only just enough to create delicious friction. He angled a thrust and hit Daniel's sweet spot. Daniel bucked backward, grasping Jack's hip. 

"Jack, oh Jack, please," he gasped, breathless, and so goddamn turned on, filled with the best sensations he'd felt in a long, long time. Despite his frantic cries, Jack continued his pace, giving short, languorous strokes, and drew out the pleasure, making it last as long as possible. His still-slick hand reached over and began to stroke Daniel's throbbing dick. 

"OhGod, OhGod, please...goddamn you, Jack, please...." and he leaned his weight into Jack, trying to raise his ass to get Jack deeper as his pleasure spot was massaged on each stroke. 

Finally, Jack lengthened his strokes, and drove deep and hard, making Daniel scream with pleasure. 

"That's it, Danny, come for me, babe, that's it!" he gasped out, feeling the tension close to release. 

Pistoning his hips faster and faster, he slammed into him now. Daniel felt the blinding pleasure strike as his orgasm erupted out of him, spilling his semen out over Jack's caressing hand. 

"Ja-ack!" he choked as his voice was lost while his body jerked and spasmed, tightening his muscles to pull Jack's orgasm from him. 

"Daaaaannyy, yeeeeessss! OhGod YEEEEESSSSSS!" 

Both their bodies trembled and jerked against each other as the waves of pleasure were ridden out. Finally sated, tired, they rested against each other. 

"I do love you, Danny," Jack croaked out in a whisper, kissing behind Daniel's ear and making him shiver. 

"I love you back," Daniel mumbled, pulling Jack's arm to his chest, hugging him as close as possible. 

~~~ 

**Epilogue**

They sat facing off against each other in the kitchen, Daniel's carefully prepared salad and barbecued chicken (a concession to Jack) on plates in front of them. 

"What do we do now, Jack?" Daniel asked quietly. 

"I have no idea, Danny, none at all. We can't tell anyone, anyone at all." 

Daniel sighed. He knew that Jack meant Sam and Teal'c. But Daniel felt that they should know...it was only fair. 

"I can see what you're saying Jack, but Janet's going to find out at the next major examinations." 

Jack grimaced. He hadn't thought of that. Daniel continued, 

"She won't say anything. She already knows about me." 

"She does?" 

"Sure. Not much Janet doesn't know about anyone on the base, Jack, you should know that. She takes her oath seriously, I wouldn't worry about it." 

"Fuck this," Jack spat, "I think I should retire. I want this, Danny, I want you and me. I know I've not got your way with words, I know I'm shit at saying this stuff, but I want this...I need this. Can't be without you, I know that now." 

Jack's brown eyes pleaded with Daniel to answer that, to reassure him the way he needed. He looked into Daniel's blue eyes and saw surprise. 

"You'd be prepared to give up the Air Force for me? Um, wow. Why?" 

Jack stood up suddenly, stepped around the table, yanked Daniel to stand and then kissed him hard. 

"THAT'S WHY! Don't you get it yet? I'm nuts about you. Fucking crazy about you. I can't deal with these emotions but I'm trying, God help me I'm trying. What I do know is that I can't go on without you, Danny. You showed that to me. Fuck. You've shown me so much! You broke through my barriers, Daniel, came into my life when I didn't want anyone and I thought I didn't need anyone. You showed me I needed you. I couldn't hack that. Never needed anyone in my life. Wanted, yes, but never needed. I fucking NEED you Daniel. Don't you dare think I don't. I may forget to tell you, I dare say I'll fuck up and get mad at you but you've got to know that I can't live without you anymore. Love ya so much." 

Dinner was forgotten as Daniel smiled at Jack, gently stroking his face by trailing the backs of his fingers over the rough, unshaven cheek. He followed his fingers with his lips. 

"Love you too, Jack, so much, and I understand better than you can imagine. You were my best friend, the best one I ever had. Never needed anyone in my life till I met you. After my parents died I was on my own. I dealt with it, I coped by never needing anyone again. You made me need **you** , Jack and then you walked away. I hated you for that. It hurt.....it was harder than if you'd died, you know. Seeing you every day, listening to you shouting at me, dealing with the pain and humiliation. I needed someone to turn to and you....the only one I could have told....you were the one that was doing this to me. I do love you, Jack, but it's going to take me time to learn to trust you again. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is." 

"I understand," Jack's head bowed as he took on board Daniel's words. How many times had Daniel told him this in so many words, in his actions, his body language? But now Jack was finally listening and understanding. "I'm so sorry for what I did. If you give me a chance I'll prove it to you. You **will** be able to trust me again, I promise. I'll never let you down again." 

Daniel nodded and then took him by the hand to the bedroom. Not letting Jack do a thing, he started to undress him slowly, kissing his skin as and when it became exposed. Jack's shirt came off, and he gasped as he felt Daniel's lips and tongue trailing over his chest, his nipples, stopping to suckle there for a moment. Then his arms, wrists, hands came in for the same treatment. Jack forgot how to breath when Daniel took his fingers one at a time into his mouth and sucked on them. 

Shivers ran down Jack's spine as Daniel moved behind him. He felt nips and gentle bites on his neck and kisses all the way down his back. He thought he was going to die when he realised that Daniel was on his knees behind him and felt him reaching around to undo his belt and flies. His pants hit the floor and Daniel motioned for him to step out of them. 

Daniel let out a small gasp of his own as he saw Jack, magnificent in his nakedness and there for him and him only. He knew that Jack had meant every word he said this time, meant that this was it for him, **the** relationship. So, Daniel was going to show that he was going to give Jack one last chance. He ran his tongue over Jack's ass and then down the crack till he found what he was looking for. He nudged Jack to bend over, so he did, hands on the bed holding him up. He howled as Daniel's tongue pressed inside him, then slowly but surely left and then went back in. Daniel tongue-fucked him, drawing out the pleasure he was getting from this and giving to Jack by the noise level that was coming back at him. 

Jack moaned when he stopped and pulled back. 

"Stand up, Jack," Daniel ordered huskily, so he did and then turned to face the man on his knees. 

Daniel looked at the weeping cock in front of him and smiled a feral smile. He stuck his tongue out and licked the head, tasting Jack and savouring his flavour as if he was a good wine. He looked up through his eyelashes and saw Jack's face. Jack was gone. Completely out of it. He was looking at Daniel in awe, and all the love and passion that resided inside him came through his eyes at this moment. Daniel knew for sure then that Jack was his. 

He swallowed him whole and sucked hard, softening his touch and moving back before repeating his actions. He felt Jack's fingers in his hair as the standing man felt the need to steady himself. Daniel employed every trick he knew and slowly but surely drove Jack out of his mind. The lube he had thrown onto the floor as he had dropped to his knees was picked up and he coated his fingers. In conjunction with suddenly deep-throating Jack he slipped two fingers in in one go. Jack was taken by surprise and came hard. Daniel continued to suckle him, stroking his prostate while scissoring his fingers till Jack begged him to stop. 

Daniel slowly let the spent cock out of his mouth, kissing it as it dropped out. Then he stood up and held onto the shaking man and lay him down on his bed. 

"I want you, Jack," he said as he seductively stripped in front of his eyes. 

Jack gasped at the sight unfolding in front of him. It wasn't like the fast and furious strip of earlier, it was erotic, magic, like nothing he had ever seen before. Nothing else existed for Jack now - no Air Force, no SGC, no freaking goa'uld - just Daniel. And Daniel knew it. For someone as reserved as him, he was getting a real kick out of the look of wonder on Jack's face. And it was turning him on like nothing else. 

Finally he was as naked as his lover and he got onto the bed and in between Jack's legs. He repeated his statement of earlier, waiting for Jack to tell him 'no', he guessed. But nothing came so he took that as permission to proceed. He took Jack's right foot in his hand and kissed the inside of his ankle and then laid a path of kisses up to his thigh until Jack's leg was draped over his shoulder. He did the same to Jack's other leg and was pleased to see him thrashing his head around on the pillow. 

"Danny, don't tease me, please Danny, don't tease. Fuck me, please," he begged. 

"Uh huh," Daniel replied, "I'm going to make love to you. All that macho crap has no more place in our bedroom, Jack. You say you love me, well I love you. So, we make love." 

Jack was so relaxed at this moment that he could have let anything happen to him, so it came as no surprise when he felt Daniel ready to push inside him. In a few strokes, Daniel was in up to the hilt. 

"Jack? You okay?" he asked. 

"Oh yes," Jack croaked, "do it, please Danny." 

His movements slow and deliberate, Daniel pulled out and pushed back in, circling his hips and then thrusting back, aiming at Jack's prostate and making the older man scream with pleasure. 

Daniel used all his powers of self control to hang on, but soon, his brain pointed out that he was, indeed, fucking Jack O'Neill. The realisation hit him hard and he felt himself on the edge. He slammed into Jack, furiously thrusting and pistoning until his own climax hit him with an intensity he could only have imagined before. 

"I love you Jack," he whispered, "love you so much." 

"Me too, Danny. It'll get better now, I promise you." 

And Daniel knew that it would.


End file.
